I have to ask, how much weight can I expect to gain? I've gained 25 pounds in the past year. I think that's enough. I gained about 5 pounds when I turned 30. I gained about 10 more before turning 38. Now at 42, it's just out of control.
I don't eat a thing and I'm packing on the pounds. I eat carrots, I eat salad, I eat fruit, cucumbers and still I gain weight. Seven years ago I ate 1/2 pint of ice cream a night and never saw a pound from it.
My biggest fear is that I'll continue to gain. I'll go out of mind if I have to change to the next higher size.
I've never been the type to go to the gym. I don't want to exercise 5 nights a week. It's just not something I've ever done.
I just want my old body size back. I don't care if it sags more. I just can't take the weight gain.
As if infertility wasn't enough, now this. Somehow I can't help but think, if I had been able to have children, this would all be a right of passage. I'd have something to show for all these years of hormones, etc. Instead, all I have is a body that's getting older, never did what it was suppose to do, and now it's going on to the next stage of life and gettig fat. I have no reference for a body that changes, like one does with pregnancy. I'm just going from what I considered a normal body to an old one.
Help!
August 4, 2008
March 13, 2008
Our Cabin
I have a little story. Might not mean much to others, meant the world to me.
At our Ash Wednesday service I was beside myself with worry about how to handle the cabin on the ESVA this year. This is the cabin that was my father's and was suppose to be mine, but my father died without having transferred it to me. Thus, it is owned by my stepmother on paper, but maintained solely by me. It's been a bit awkward of a situation. I had prayed about this often and 90% of the time was letting the Lord handle things. On Ash Wednesday I prayed and meditated about this asking God for resolution and peace. Then I forgot about it. Well a few weeks later I received a letter in the mail from my stepmother indicating she wanted my sister and I to decide what we wanted to do with the cabin. What WE wanted to do! Sister and I discussed and agreed we wanted the cabin put in our names. We wrote a letter back to stepmother and to our amazement, she agreed and is meeting with her lawyer on the Monday after Easter to determine the best way to make this happen.
Why is it I am always amazed by His grace? I am in awe. Now I know others may think there was no correlation between my prayer and worry and God's action, but not me. I love it when these things happen, because it affirms my believe that God does handle things in His time for His reasons and for the most part I am clueless.
At our Ash Wednesday service I was beside myself with worry about how to handle the cabin on the ESVA this year. This is the cabin that was my father's and was suppose to be mine, but my father died without having transferred it to me. Thus, it is owned by my stepmother on paper, but maintained solely by me. It's been a bit awkward of a situation. I had prayed about this often and 90% of the time was letting the Lord handle things. On Ash Wednesday I prayed and meditated about this asking God for resolution and peace. Then I forgot about it. Well a few weeks later I received a letter in the mail from my stepmother indicating she wanted my sister and I to decide what we wanted to do with the cabin. What WE wanted to do! Sister and I discussed and agreed we wanted the cabin put in our names. We wrote a letter back to stepmother and to our amazement, she agreed and is meeting with her lawyer on the Monday after Easter to determine the best way to make this happen.
Why is it I am always amazed by His grace? I am in awe. Now I know others may think there was no correlation between my prayer and worry and God's action, but not me. I love it when these things happen, because it affirms my believe that God does handle things in His time for His reasons and for the most part I am clueless.
How Peaceful are you?
You Are 78% Peaceful |
 You are a very peaceful person. All is good in your world, no matter what's going on. Occasionally you let your problems get to you, but you generally remain upbeat. Your inner strength is inspirational - much more so than you may realize. |
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